An Excerpt: Last Dance

Lately, I have been trying to work on a novel/novella in my spare time. I started it around May but didn't get much of a chance to write over the summer. Lately, though, I have gotten some good opportunities to put some thought and ideas into the story line. Right now I am at about 5,000 words, with a goal of getting to at least 30,000.

The novel follows the life of 25 year old Marine Biology student Fisher living with his artist girlfriend in a New York City apartment. Life is good, that is, until vivid, unnerving dreams and random blackouts swirl his life into chaos. And that would be alright if he didn't have a mysterious local songwriter following him around, appearing in unusual spots and giving him ominous warnings. Will Fisher put the puzzle pieces together and figure it all out?

Here is an excerpt from the novel:

The night rolls on, the night rolls off. Fisher lies in bed and stares at the stars, sparkling down from above. What stars? You may ask. Because, of course, the fact that he is lying in bed INSIDE a building. And you would be right in that assumption, because the stars are not real stars, but glow-in-the-dark plastic ones that handily stick to any ceiling, furniture, or wall. Most people would probably consider these stars to be tacky and childish, but Fisher and Caroline like them. So stop judging,

Fisher seems troubled by the events at the concert. It felt so real to him, so sense-filling and tangible that fakeness seems a foreign concept. Despite this, he quickly drifts off to sleep under the sparkling star ways above. But this is only the beginning of Fisher’s adventure that night; for dreams may come that take his breath away.

The dream begins. But of course, Fisher’s mind doesn’t realize this, and believes it is still living real life. The day is soft and beautiful, and he finds himself somewhere in the European countryside, but he’s not sure what country or place to be exact. He is too distracted by the wind whipping his face as he rides in a pristine Ford Model T through a bright green field dotted with daisies and purples. It is a hot day, and the breeze feels absolutely wonderful. Framed by the vanilla sky, the car streaks like a mad bull across the landscape, while his friend John screams with delight as he pilots the car around bushes and other annoying obstacles.

“Slow down!” Fisher yells, keeping his fedora down with his right hand.

“I refuse! I know how bad you want to see her! Aha!” John responds with a unabashed fury.

As if cued by John’s words, a beautiful landscape appeared to them as they crested the last hill. But the landscape wasn’t the only beautiful thing. There she was, sitting in front of a large white tent, reading with a feather in her hair. Meadows, flowers, mountains, nothing compared to her. Fisher’s eyes lit up as he stood tall in the barreling vehicle, losing his hat and his inhibitions all at once. At first just one side of his mouth raised up, but the other side soon followed, forming a large smile on his face. And that wasn’t it, either. His eyes lit up, hands tense with anticipation as his heart threatened to beat out of his chest. The sun seemed to shine brighter in the distance as he raised his arms in joy and love, fighting the wind as the car whipped across the field. Strangely, the light didn’t come to a stop. It kept getting brighter and brighter. Brighter and brighter. Fisher didn’t get one more second to think as the light enveloped him and his consciousness.

Anyway, that's the excerpt. If you have any criticisms/ideas/praise for the novel, please let me know. It would be much appreciated.

David Benoit - Sailing Through the City